You and Me
by Torchwood Prof
Summary: Not DH/Epilogue compliant. Harry and Remus, co-authors of the hopefully best-selling DADA book "A Creature's Compendium", are off to San Sebastian, California, to conduct some field research. Of course, it may not go as planned . . . Slight HP/Twilight.
1. Chapter 1

Author's Note:

The Professor: Hello, and welcome to Ambrose the Book-Wolf and the Torchwood Professor's story, "You and Me", which is a bit of a soppy, overused, etc. title, we know, but it's the best we could come up with. This is the story that we're going to be working on when we have writer's block for MIHJ, but don't worry, if you've migrated from that story to this one - next update should, homework permitting, be on Wednesday.

Ambrose: Wednesday evening is our target, at least - but enough 'bout MIHJ. This bit's supposed to be about THIS story, isn't it? OK, I'll be doing the disclaimer. Ahem . . . Harry Potter and all other people, places, concepts, species', etc that are affiliated with the Harry Potter universe are the intellectual property of J.K. Rowling, and of course all those guys at Warner Bros. who do the movies probably own a bit too. Twilight and all other people, places, concepts, species', etc that are affiliated with the Twilight universe are the intellectual property of Stephanie Meyer, the author - though, the people who did the movie might own a bit as well . . . Any and all other references to outside TV shows, movies, cartoons, books, etc, are not in any way inclined toward encroaching copyright. Yes, we're jumping on the HP/Twilight bandwagon, so sue us - but only a few characters from Twilight will actually show up, though more will turn up in the planned sequel.

The Professor: This WILL contain slash, in heavy amounts, slightly darker content in the later chapters (hence the 'T' rating - it may or may not go up) and probably numerous instances of profanity - basically, gayness, blood n' guts and swearing. M'kay? Don't say we didn't warn you. The pairing is an old stand-by of ours - Harry/Remus - so if you don't like it, sorry. This is very much a self-indulgent story, so excuse us. Good, now onwards ho!

(Chapter 1 - Start)

"Tickets?"  
"Check."  
"Parking bay ticket?"  
"Check."  
"Mobile library?"  
A growl. "Check."  
"One wriggly little kid?"

"I ain't little! Uncle Ron said so!" Teddy scolded them from his vantage point atop the large piles of luggage, and Harry rolled his eyes, grinning as he did (to take the edge off of his words) before saying, "Yeah, but _Uncle _Ron didn't realise you'd stuck one of your dad's - things - on his chair until he'd sat on it." Remus chuckled slightly at the reminder, muttering wistfully, "He couldn't walk straight for a full week - even worse than you, Harry." There was a light dusting of red springing up on Harry's cheeks at the reminder, and he slapped Remus rather hard on the arm.

"Come on, Ted - if your least-favorite dad wants to stay and embarrass your oh-so-better-looking father any longer, maybe we could trade his ticket for that book you've been drooling over for the past week - whaddya say?" Teddy looked most excited at that, bobbing his head, but Remus cut that short with a mock-scolding look, though the slight grin belied it slightly. The party of three looked up, stopping in their mutual teasing session, as a monotone announcement came over the PA system - apparently, the 12:45 flight from Gatwick to San Francisco International Airport was about to start boarding. Harry drew the tickets from his trouser pocket, checked the flight, and nodded at Remus.

"That's us, all right. When do these Amtrak tickets expire?" Remus looked at him condescendingly, and said, "I gave us PLENTY of margin for error, knowing your aptitude for messing up the simplest of things - " Harry narrowed his eyes, and he made sure to wait until Remus was mid-step to stick his leg out in front of the elder werewolf. He continued on for a few steps, before turning around on his heel and walking backwards, much to the delight of Teddy, to look at the other man, who hadn't managed to pull himself back up yet. "That a big enough margin for you? Onwards, Ted - let's get our seats. I'm sure your dad'll be happy enough on the floor . . ."

------

"Planes are more comfy than I remember . . ." said Remus, who was engaged in flicking the air conditioning switch on and off with a look of childish rapture, and Harry had to agree - the seats were fwoofy and comfortable. Fwoofy was the only way to describe them - Harry had always been a fan of words that were tailor-made to the situation, and if the seats made a 'fwoof' sound when sat on, who was he to argue? He tapped Teddy on the shoulder, seeing that he was playing with his seat buckle, and said to Remus, "Can I have that map? I want to check that route again."

Remus made a tutting noise, but nonetheless dug the offending piece of paper from his wallet and shoved it over to Harry, before proceeding to watch the Muggle ground crew out of the window with fascination - Harry was left to the task of unfolding the tiny piece of worn paper, and it was with the fifth fold that he made a mental note to buy Remus a new wallet. Once he was finished, he laid the map on the folding board that came down from the chair ahead of him and squinted at it.

Even a year into lycanthropy, Harry's sight hadn't improved (though Remus said it was because the wolf was still settling, and Harry couldn't really disagree - if only so he had an excuse for Remus' deathly boring attempts to raise funds for the book) and he snapped open the simple black case to reveal his glasses, gleaming in the unnatural light. He quickly unfolded them and slid them upon his nose, then unto his ears (savouring the taint of the magically-cast platinum) before leaning forward once more.

The map was one of the world, with several circles in red felt tip - the first was on London, the second San Francisco, the third Emeryville train station, and the final was their destination. San Sebastian. The fabled lycan town, where apparently more than half of the population were lycanthropes. According to the few pictures Remus had scrounged together - when convincing Harry A) that they needed a vacation and B) it would make wonderful field research for the book he and Moony were co-authoring - it was quite scenic. A large lake (that froze over quite often, if the reports of minus temperatures being recorded in every month were to be believed), a few forests and very little crime (though Remus had mused aloud whether or not a few dollars were worth being ripped apart by an angry lycan to the average American, and whether this had any bearing on the rock-bottom crime levels).

Their friends and adoptive families hadn't been happy with their leave taking, especially when they found out that they'd be gone quite a while - years, in fact. Whether or not they were more torn up about not being able to coo over Teddy than them actually going was debatable, and so they had ignored all arguments (though Harry had needed some very thorough 'convincing' from Remus to say no to his adopted sisters puppy dog look) - and here they were. Stuck on an eleven hour flight, with nought to do. Harry sighed noisily.

It was going to be a _long _flight.

(Chapter 1 - End)

Ambrose: Now, before you go scrambling for your atlases, San Sebastian doesn't exist - not that we know of, anyway. We decided to avoid picking a real place, in case of offending anyone with our gross lack of knowledge regarding America (neither of us have been, though we aspire to) and so we created our very own place. We imagine it to be on the California Zephyr Amtrak line, still in California, and just before Truckee (this is all fictional, remember) on a map - we're probably going to end up taking some artistic licence with the American way of life, so forgive us. But we have done SOME research, so . . .

The Professor: We're trying hard here, so don't crucify us. So, what do you think? Love it, hate it, didn't even read it? Keep in mind it'll warm up soon, and get longer as well. Tell us - the review button is right there, see? Just down there . . . See ya next time, guys!


	2. Chapter 2

Author's Note:

The Professor: Hello, and welcome to the second chapter of our newest story, "You and Me" - although, judging by the response, it seems to be "All of You and Me"! To be quite honest, we didn't expect quite such a response - we though this little story would end up being swept under the rug for dust bunnies to read - and we have to say thank you to everyone who alerted, and especially all those who reviewed. Keep up the good work!

Ambrose: And since we've hit a brick wall with MIHJ (we can't seem to concentrate, but don't worry - it'll be up by Thursday at the latest), we thought we'd be better off updating this, so - here we are. OK, I'll be doing the disclaimer. Ahem . . . Harry Potter and all other people, places, concepts, species', etc that are affiliated with the Harry Potter universe are the intellectual property of J.K. Rowling, and of course all those guys at Warner Bros. who do the movies probably own a bit too. Twilight and all other people, places, concepts, species', etc that are affiliated with the Twilight universe are the intellectual property of Stephanie Meyer, the author - though, the people who did the movie might own a bit as well . . . Any and all other references to outside TV shows, movies, cartoons, books, etc, are not in any way inclined toward encroaching copyright. One big mouth full, but if it stops a lawsuit, it'll be worth it.

The Professor: OK, we'll repeat the warnings from the previous chapter, just in case you missed them - this WILL contain slash, in heavy amounts, slightly darker content in the later chapters (hence the 'T' rating - it may or may not go up) and probably numerous instances of profanity - basically, gayness, blood n' guts and swearing. M'kay? Don't say we didn't warn you. The pairing is an old stand-by of ours - Harry/Remus - so if you don't like it, sorry. This is very much a self-indulgent story, so excuse us.

Ambrose: Now that's over with, we're going to tell you that, apart from the odd extra HP character and the few Twilight characters that'll turn up, quite a few of the character's will be original, and we can't really see any way round that, so - sorry. Alright? On with the show, then!

(Chapter 2 - Start)

"Ted? Ted. Teddy, come on, wake up - "

Teddy gave a dramatic fake yawn, and Harry sighed, though his heart wasn't in it - he wished he could be irritated or bored with the seven-year olds antics, but he couldn't. Maybe this was the curse of proper fatherhood? Being unable to be truly angry with your child? _If so, _reflected Harry as he poked Teddy in the back of the knee (he was ticklish there, he wouldn't be able to pretend anymore), _no wonder father's had the market on nicknaming their children 'princess' - or maybe it's just some Disney thing . . ._

Teddy gave up the hibernation impersonation and rolled over so that he was looking right at his father with a reproachful look that Remus would have been proud of - Harry had no intention of getting into a fight with a steward, and said, "Unless you want to stay in that seat and be adopted by the next family to come through, then shift - your dad's waiting by the exit." Teddy, cowed by the imaginary threat, practically bolted out of the seat and down the aisle, while Harry simply grabbed the suitcases from the overhead compartment - wincing all the while at the immense weight.

"Maybe I shouldn't have mentioned the words 'mobile library' . . ."

------

"God, am I tired . . ." Harry yawned as he leaned back into the rough leather seats of the cab he and Remus had hailed once outside the airport, and Teddy copied his motions - it was a game the boy had invented ten minutes ago, 'Copy Dad', and seemed to enjoy - while Remus simply said, his eyes glued to the sights of San Francisco, "Don't you dare fall asleep - I'm not dragging you halfway across California." Harry narrowed his eyes, and replied, "Considering you and Teddy were out like a light for most of the flight, and someone _had _to stay awake, I think I've done pretty well staying awake - especially compared to _your_ track record."

Remus whipped his head around to look at his protesting partner, and looked ready to retort before Teddy broke into the conversation. "I think dad's got a point, dad - you fall asleep a lot, especially when you get all that falling down juice from Uncle Sirius." Falling-down juice was the name Teddy had given to Firewhiskey - and any other alcohol, for that matter - after watching Padfoot fall over his own feet five times in a single sitting. Remus, unable to deny this point, simply huffed (missing the covert wink Harry and Teddy shared as his back was turned) and leaned forward to ask the cab driver how long it was until they reached Powell Street.

The cab muttered back something unintelligible even to Remus' ears and, guessing that any more attempts would end much the same, simply resolved to keep an eye on the meter. He turned back to Harry, his eyes bored, and asked him, "How long have we got until the train leaves?" Harry dug the tickets out of the satchel once more, and read off, "8:33 from Platform whatsit - don't worry, we'll make it. After all - " Harry's voice became slightly accusatory " - you left plenty of margin for error, didn't you?" Remus sent him a sharp look, and Harry crossed his arms, looking strangely petulant, while Teddy was drinking in the sight of America for the first time in his life out of the back window. He looked distinctly unimpressed.

"I thought it'd be bigger."

------

_"The 8:33 California Zephyr is now approaching platform two. Please stand behind the yellow line on the platform."_

The family of three looked up from their game of Go Fish (they couldn't play poker - Hermione had made them swear not to in front of Teddy, in case it influenced him to start gambling) as the monotone announcer rung off, and they quickly swept the cards together into the pack as they grabbed the veritable mountain of bags surrounding them. They could hear the train approaching, and Harry had just slipped the cardboard into his pocket as the train screeched into the station. Remus and Teddy shared a wink (Harry practically only upright due to sheer force of will and a scalding hot cup of coffee) as they watched a man in a brown overcoat and blue pinstripe suit board the train - they had spent the last ten minutes coming up with a soap-opera history for him, which included three murders and the role of vocals in the ELO - before helping Harry up into the train.

They soon reached their seats, and Harry wasn't sitting for more than a minute before he had fallen asleep. Remus and Teddy shared a packet of bourbons as they played another game of Go Fish, this time using using objects from Harry's pockets as chips (Remus lost his wallet and glasses in the first round alone, but soon won back an elastic band and Harry's iPod in the second), and they stayed this way until the PA announced that they were five minutes away from San Sebastian. Remus slipped the items back into Harry's coat with a practised sleight of hand, while Teddy cleaned away the biscuits and cards. Then, the two pulled down the luggage from underneath their chairs, before looking at the third member of their family warily.

Now, how to wake up a sleep-deprived werewolf without losing vital organs . . .?

(Chapter 2 - End)

Ambrose: So, how was that? Bit of a filler chapter, this - not much actually happens. But we thought you'd appreciate a filler chapter more than a sudden jump from SF to San Sebastian, so here it is. What do you guys think?

The Professor: Love it, hate it, didn't even read it? We need to know! Tell us, and we can make it oh so much better. Thanks for reading guys and gals - see you next time!


	3. Chapter 3

Author's Note:

The Professor: Hello, and welcome to the third chapter of our story, "You and Me" - five new reviews! Wooo! First some kick-ass inauguration action (go Obama!) and now this! By the way - if we missed any Review Replies, we apologise most profusely, and we'll do our best not to mess up again - we're still not used to the whole Reply mail system thing, so - yeah. Oh - and we seem to be sneaking in subconscious references to our other fics, so watch out for them. Right - Amby?

Ambrose: Still can't come up with a proper nickname? I'm disappointed. OK, I'll be doing the disclaimer. Ahem . . . Harry Potter and all other people, places, concepts, species', etc that are affiliated with the Harry Potter universe are the intellectual property of J.K. Rowling, and of course all those guys at Warner Bros. who do the movies probably own a bit too. Twilight and all other people, places, concepts, species', etc that are affiliated with the Twilight universe are the intellectual property of Stephanie Meyer, the author - though, the people who did the movie might own a bit as well . . . Any and all other references to outside TV shows, movies, cartoons, books, etc, are not in any way inclined toward encroaching copyright. One big mouth full, but if it stops a lawsuit, it'll be worth it.

The Professor: OK, we'll repeat the warnings from the previous chapter, just in case you missed them - this WILL contain slash, in heavy amounts, slightly darker content in the later chapters (hence the 'T' rating - it may or may not go up) and probably numerous instances of profanity - basically, gayness, blood n' guts and swearing. M'kay? Don't say we didn't warn you. The pairing is an old stand-by of ours - Harry/Remus - so if you don't like it, sorry. This is very much a self-indulgent story, so excuse us.

Ambrose: Now that's over with, we're going to tell you that, apart from the odd extra HP character and the few Twilight characters that'll turn up, quite a few of the character's will be original, and we can't really see any way round that, so - sorry. Alright? On with the show, then!

(Chapter 3 - Start)

"OK? Go!"  
"Ah-hah! Paper beats rock!"  
" . . . You know, according to Uncyclopedia - "  
"Ted, stop trying to dodge the fact you lost, and wake up your sleep-deprived father."

Teddy sent Remus an imploring look (which was summarily ignored) before turning down the train aisle and, dragging his feet as much as possible, made his way over to the darker of his two fathers. Crouching down (so that his head wasn't in range of Harry's patented 'Fists of Fury!') and rearranging his coat to protect his chest, Teddy quickly sent a hand out and slapped his father on the leg (Remus watching all the time).

It was hard to decide which reaction was funnier to Remus - the 'snail-in-the-headlights' look his son showcased, or the half-Hitler-salute, half-First-Time that his husband managed to execute. While Harry and Teddy were clutching both of their hearts and sending each other dirty looks, Remus noted that they were pulling into the station - grabbing the suitcase stuffed to the brim with notes and manuscripts from the overhead, he flung it over to Harry, before dashing to the exit as Teddy and Harry shared a look which promised pain.

He wasn't retreating - he was just advancing in the other direction.

------

"Where's my car?" Remus was looking up and down the car park adjoined to the train station in confusion - his familiar royal blue Mini was nowhere to be seen - while Harry looked at him, wary of how Moony would react when he found out what Harry had done. Remus, by now able to tell when Harry had done something, turned round to look at him with a dangerous look upon his face, and Harry swallowed a gulp as he tried to smile reassuringly. "Yeah - about that . . ."

Remus' jaw dropped. "You did NOT junk my car!" Harry was quick to shake his head, complete with hand gestures, and tried to calm down his partner. "No, no - though God knows why you keep it, the bloody floor's gonna fall in one of these days - it's back in the garage. In London." Remus' eyes narrowed suspiciously, and he began combing his surroundings - this time for outrageously expensive cars, which would stick out like a sore thumb in the menagerie of burnt out Ford's.

Harry was quick to allay his fears. "But don't worry, I got you a new car - just for America, if you want, a rental (for now) - give it a chance?" He pulled his best puppy-dog face, and Remus felt his resolve crumble as the look came his way. With a long suffering sigh, he nodded, and said, "Well, show me it then - wait, what about your car? The Mustang?"

"Oh, that's at the house - this one, that is. I asked Sirius' cousin's son - Jacob, or Jack, can't remember which - to drive it down for me. He seemed pretty happy down the phone, so I assume he hasn't pranged it. But enough about my car." Harry had a grin on his face, one that made Remus wary and Teddy excited, as he led them past a line of SUV's, and he gave a dramatic flourish as Remus got the first glimpse of his new car.

" . . . There is no way in HELL I'm driving that." Teddy looked at Remus with wide eyes, and he seemed too enraptured in the lines of the spangling new Dodge Challenger to actually say something - instead, he settled for waving his hands about like he was on fire, and giving out a little squeal of excitement. Harry looked affronted, and he was quick to say something. "Why? What's wrong with it?"

It was Remus' turn to look beleaguered, and it took him a second to remember that Harry couldn't read his mind, so he simply said, "It's a _muscle_ car, done up in charcoal black - can you imagine what I'd look like driving that? And must I remind you how badly I drive?" Harry rolled his eyes, and quite a bit of tension escaped his shoulders. "Has anyone told you you're a bloody drama queen? I CAN imagine how you'd look, in fact, and it doesn't exactly fit into polite conversation - and you don't drive - that badly . . . Anyway, it's too late - it's either yours or mine now."

Remus picked up on the not-so-subtly hidden meaning behind Harry's words, and he looked at the car again. "And why is that, _dear _husband of mine?" Harry cringed, but soldiered on, regardless. "Because it cost, up front, around - $40,095? And it's one of 6,400? And, I had to pull a few favours, out of the guys at Dodge? That - that'd be why?" Remus looked at the car again, considering it intently. After a few seconds, he nodded and snatched the keys from out of Harry's open hand, before making his way to the boot.

"Fine, the car stays - but Teddy's riding shotgun, and you owe me. Big time."

------

"Just 'round this next bend, apparently - here, Ted, turn off the radio."

Teddy did as he was told, and got as close to the window as the seat-belt allowed him to - the past five minutes had been nothing but ice and brittle grassland, so he was looking forward to seeing the town which would become his home for the next year or two. Not a second later, the mass of twisted trees swung to the left, and all three occupants of the car were hooked by their first glimpse of San Sebastian over the iced-over lake.

It wasn't a big town - certainly not as big as London or San Francisco, thought Teddy - but it wasn't small either, being much bigger than the only other parable he had, which was the poky town of Ottery St Catchpole. It didn't look too modern, either - there were no blaring supermarket signs, for instance, and there was an old-fashioned church steeple reaching up from the mass of red-brick houses. To the left and right of the town were outcrops of forest, which seemed as if ready to envelop the town in a mass of brown and green.

There were few cars on the same road as them, and the few that _were _out looked old - in fact, Teddy swore that one of the cars looked like it had come straight out of the 1950's - as well as weather-beaten. Harry grimaced as he realised how badly the Dodge would stick out, and made a resolution to steer all future conversations away from his involvement in the car. There was denying that the town had a certain beauty and charm to it, however - with the light scattering across the ice in a shower of colour and the rustic appeal of the houses that were getting closer and closer, it was impossible not to feel a strong attachment already forming to their new home.

Remus eased his foot off the accelerator as they began their arrival into town, and his mind was occupied with lessons learnt years ago in the hope that he wouldn't end up hitting someone. _Then again_, he mused, _would it even affect the townspeople__? They_ are _werewolves, after all - well, most of them._ Thankfully, he managed to navigate the narrow streets without incident, and they pulled up outside a solid-looking two floor house, with an attached garage. Undoing his seat belt with all the grace of a seven year old, Teddy had made his way out of the car even before Harry had moved to slide back the seat. Sharing a commiserating look with each other, the couple left the car at a much more sedate pace, all the while making sure that the Anti-Theft charms were in place, and caught up with Teddy, who was outside the house, talking away at someone they recognised from pictures Sirius had shown them not a week before.

The man looked to be in his late forties or early fifties, judging by the creases that ran through his russet skin like an old leather jacket - he had a very memorable face, with eyes that somehow managed to look, oddly, both youthful and ancient, and he was quite a heavyset man, too. He was steady on his feet, and it occurred to Harry that perhaps Tonks could learn something from the man - he seemed, in a word, solid. He had a wide smile on his face as he listened to Teddy ramble on - evidently, Sirius had been talking about his favourite (and only) nephew - and he held out a warm hand for Harry and Remus to shake. Remus, polite to the last, took him up on his offer, smiling as if sharing a private joke with the man, while Harry was occupied staying on his feet - he did manage, however, to raise a shaky hand in greeting.

"You'll have to excuse my husband - he's had about twenty minutes of sleep today, so I'll handle the introductions. I'm Remus Lupin, this is Harry, and I suspect you've already met our son, Teddy." The man nodded, still smiling, and said, "I'm Will Black, but I'd prefer it if you called me Billy. Sirius has told me all about you, and Harry seems to have become Jacob's all time hero - I never hear enough of you guys." Harry looked surprised, and Billy elaborated. "I don't think I've ever seen him more excited than when he was in the seat of that Mustang you wanted driven down - you're ticking all the right boxes in his book. Anyway - " Billy caught himself before he began to side-track the conversation, and drew a key-ring out of his coat pocket. He tossed it to Remus, who caught it out of habit, and nodded to the door of the house. " - the brass'll get you in the front, the copper out the back, and the other is for the garage. My number is in the address book on the kitchen table in case you need help 'round the town. Any questions?"

Remus shook his head, and Billy made his way over to a faded red Chevy truck. He raised a hand as he got into the antiquated truck, and Teddy was still waving by the time the Chevy had all but disappeared round the corner. Remus eyed the keys speculatively, before seeing the state Harry was in and slinging one of his partner's arms around his shoulders to keep him on his feet. "Here, Ted - light brown key." Teddy caught the keys - barely - and was struggling with the door while Remus continued to unload their luggage and support Harry. After what seemed like an age, the door swung in and Remus staggered through, Ted bringing up the rear with the rest of their bags.

Settling Harry on the living room sofa - Moony doubted Harry would make it up the stairs - Remus sank into one of the armchairs dotted around the rather cosy lounge, Teddy doing the same next to him, and let out an appreciative sigh. Tapping his son on the shoulder, Remus nodded toward Harry and said, "Bet you five quid he doesn't get up til noon." Teddy looked at him.

"Ten quid. And I say two in the afternoon."  
"Shake?"

(Chapter 3 - End)

Ambrose: So, how was that? We're not quite sure about how we did Billy - there isn't all that much to him in the books, so we're working on about three pages of Twilight and a helluva lot of improvisation. In case you're wondering, this is set BEFORE Billy loses the ability to walk, since it isn't specified in the books (but it will turn up toward the middle of the fic), and he's having his annual holiday (which was forced upon him by his doctor - physical exercise is supposed to help beat diabetes, according to Wikipedia) away from La Push. He thinks Jacob is old enough to hold the fort, and so here he is - for our reading pleasure! By the way, if you want anymore Twilight characters to turn up, send in your ideas by review, PM, or whatever, and we'll try and fit them in.

The Professor: But enough about that - what did you think? Loved it, hated it, didn't even read it? It is absolutely VITAL that we know! Tell us, and we can make "Better. Stronger! Faster! We can rebuild him, we have the technology - " no, wait, sorry - that's the Six Million Dollar Man. :) Thanks for reading guys and gals - see you next time!


End file.
